As Yankee fans who read this blog know, way back on July 26, Madame Francine, a fortune teller who has never been wrong, predicted, right here in this blog, that the Red Sox would fold. Her record stands intact.. I paid a pretty penny for that prediction, but believe me, it was worth every cent!
I will be at Yankee Stadium for World Series game 6, so I finally caved and went back to Madame Francine to find out who will win the 2009 World Series at Yankee Stadium.
“What took you so long?” she queries with her usual sly grin, then wheezed like the acute asthmatic that she is.”I thought you’d have been back way before this.”
“Francine,” we are on a first-name basis, “I was waiting until the Yankees and Phillies were down to the wire, when an accurate predicton would really count. Besides, after you double charged my MasterCard in July, I was reluctant to come back again so soon.”
Without missing a beat, she alerted me,”You understand that my rates are even hioher for “premium” events like the World Series, just like those overpriced $40 parking lots on River Avenue?”
“Yup,” I eked out.
She licked her chops. I couldn’t tell which she relished more: stringing me along or overcharging me! Then, without a hint of impulse control, she began flashing the following images on the ceiling, using some kind of new-fangled Nikon projection digital camera. the images were accompanied by her inimitable commentary.
“It’s not going to be pretty at Yankee Stadium,” she began…
“You mean the Yankees will win game 6?” I ventured.
“Shuddup and listen,” she shouted,” You want your money’s worth, don’t you?”
Immediately, this disturbing image from last year’s Phillies victory celebration appeared….
“Is that an under age youth drinking an alcoholic beverage?” I asked, stunned. “Phlistines, aren’t they?” she shot back, “Pun intended.”
Next came this shocking image. “Pay back for beaning A-Rod three times?” I guessed. “You said that, not me” she laughed an evil laugh. “Let’s just say, sometimes you just got to “face” the chin music”
Next came this somber scene:
“They don’t look too happy,” I muttered.
“Duh,” Madame Francine has a way of making me feel real small.
A few more hints quickly followed…images from post-seasons past…
“Do you mean Pedro’s going to get killed at tomorrow night’s game?”
“I never said that,” she chortled.
Then came this image of Pedro Matinez taunting Yankees fans at game 7 of the 2003 ALCS. “He’s an arrogant S.O.B., isn’t he?” I asked.
“That I can agree with,” came the reply.
“Enough already!” I finally shouted, sick and tired of this cat and mouse game.”I don’t care how much you charge, I want to know now. What the hell of going to happen? Who is going to win the 2009 World Series?”
Just as she had on July 26, she slid one last image across the table that separated us. Then she coughed up a great deal of phlegm and gurgled, “Here. And don’t forget to check your MasterCard’s new interest rates and late payment penalties!”
I smiled and left her lair, not worrying one whit about the inflated bill I knew would come.
If you enjoyed this blog post, and love the Yankees, check out my new book, Yankee Stadium: The Final Game, with scores of great photos of the last game ever played at the Stadium.
